Push Yourself

Some of you already pegged my next subject, but can ya blame me? It makes my husband smile to talk about so I'm going to milk it. I finally ran a marathon. I say finally because Ive been all talk for a while. If any of you know me from high school track, running was not really in the mix. I high jumped to be able to run the least possible, well that and I was good at it. So the thought of running a marathon...well actually there was never a thought and I figured marathons were for freak athletes. Then I decided to become a freak athlete. I love to physically push myself, but I never pushed myself so hard it became a mental battle too. I ran through a gamut of emotions from loving life and running to hating Baltimore for being too damn hilly, back to loving it all. It didn't help that the biggest hill I trained on was the size of an ant hill. I felt super good till about 19 and there was yet another hill and then little mental tantrums starting creeping in. My goal time was slipping away and that was aggrivating. I said just finishing for my first would be ok but sometimes I dont take my ginko and forget Im not an elite runner and probably shouldnt expect elite times. Funny how that works. But I did it. I did something I thought could or would never do. Im not sure what I was more excited about; running 26.2 or acutally completing something I started 3 months earlier. I was reminded for the next 3 days how far it actually is as everything like sitting on the toilet took strategic planning. For sure it pushed my physical threshold way further, but it was more the mental marathon I conquered and knowing I did something I always thought was reserved for those freak athletes. I was with a friend recently who was hestitant on setting goals because she was aftraid of failure. One way to be sure to fail is to not try. We are so wrapped up in the thought of being judge or not good enough, that the idea of not succeding is mortifying. Sometimes failure is a good way to learn about yourself. Anytime you push yourself you get something out of it, good or bad, but whatever it is you learn. This year has been a big year for me testing new areas of confidences and interests. Even doing this blog is a big step as Im not a big sharer of emotions and inner stuff, but its cool to hear positive feedback Im getting from those of you who can relate or find it interesting. Dont be afraid to push yourself to go after a goal, whether its to loose weight, change jobs or whatever. Its only you holding yourself back.